It’s not the darkness but the despair….
Do you know what’s worst?
Knowing that nothing has left in this fucking world for you to do and you have ruined all your life, isn’t it so?
That’s what she said or perhaps asked...
It was a late-night conversation with someone whom I may know...
We were in a dark room, she was sitting on a couch near the glass window having a steamy cup of coffee on a table.
As I tried to remove the curtains from the window to have a glance at the outside world, she clasped my hand and halted me from doing so...
Do you know what's good about darkness?
I was in a suspicious state of mind, knowing not what to say...it seemed to me like winning a war of nerves.
She made me sit in front of her and looked into the mirror and said,
"Darkness doesn’t bother you when there is darkness inside of you but it bothers when there is the slightest glint of enlightenment inside of you because it knows the presence of that flicker will make it fade away, sooner or later...That’s why it escapes...
In both cases, it benefits...That’s why the darkness is not bothering me anymore"
Then I asked creepily," Don’t you think it’s the despair that’s not bothering? It’s not the darkness ...Don’t you think that way?”
She said nothing in acknowledgment, and smiled at me while tucking her hair back, and faded away...
I guess I got what did that smile symbolize...
It was me talking to me isn’t it strange?
